Aish's Blog Spot

A visit to my daughter's doc

Sanju has actually been putting on weight recently- .leading me to hope that the VSD is becoming insignificant or has made its way out. I was so hopeful, no sure, that this was the first visit to the doc unaccompanied by sheer nervous tension. You dont know how Sanj's doc visits have been for me- all an exercise worse than chinese torture. I am perpetually worried to the point of exhaustion- whats her weight gain like? Is she developing normally? HAS HER VSD BECOME SMALLER??? I dont think anyone, with the possible exception of my parents, understands what I go through each time. Ever since I moved back to the IL's place, all this tension has multiplied by about 10 times. or hundred. At this scale, it is kinda difficult to pin down on a number. A thousand suggestions that Sanjana is ridiculously underweight (YES, I KNOW SHE IS! WHAT THE F**** DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?), that she is physically underdeveloped (BULL! SHE IS A VERY BRIGHT, ACTIVE, PLAYFUL CHILD, ALBEIT WITH A VERY, VERY WORRIED MOTHER. WHOSE WORRY ONLY DOUBLES WHEN YOU MAKE RIDICULOUS STATEMENTS IMPLYING HER BRAIN DEVELOPOMENT IS BELOW PAR). Folks, have some sensitivity for my feelings, alright? Please?
Anyway. This time, I was sure the doc would say the VSD was insignificant, and it was quite a shock when he said it seems to be the same size as earlier. Is there no justice in the world?
Yeah, I know. I keep telling myself a VSD is probably the least troublesome of the afflictions Sanjana could possibly have had - atleast, its treatable, with the worst case - surgery - having a close to 100% succcess rate. And inspite of what the MIL implies, Sanj is a VERY BRIGHT, HAPPY baby. She is very active, and her development milestones have been met on target, more or less.
Hardly a day goes past when I dont wish I hadnt noted her breathing heavily at the hospital, because of which the VSD was detected, in the first place. But I know thats foolish. Logically, that is. Atleast we are treating/monitoring her now! And its not like this is life threatening or anything.

Labels: Sanjana

posted by Aish @ 1:39 PM